The Cure

I’ve been looking so long at these pictures of you
That I almost believe that they’re real
I’ve been living so long with my pictures of you
That I almost believe that the pictures are
All I can feel

Remembering
You standing quiet in the rain
As I ran to your heart to be near
And we kissed as the sky fell in
Holding you close
How I always held close in your fear
Remembering
You running soft through the night
You were bigger and brighter and whiter than snow
And screamed at the make-believe
Screamed at the sky
And you finally found all your courage
To let it all go

Remembering
You fallen into my arms
Crying for the death of your heart
You were stone white
So delicate
Lost in the cold
You were always so lost in the dark
Remembering
You how you used to be
Slow drowned
You were angels
So much more than everything
Hold for the last time then slip away quietly
Open my eyes
But i never see anything

If only I’d thought of the right words
I could have held on to your heart
If only I’d thought of the right words
I wouldn’t be breaking apart
All my pictures of you

Looking so long at these pictures of you
But i never hold on to your heart
Looking so long for the words to be true
But always just breaking apart
My pictures of you

There was nothing in the world
That I ever wanted more
Than to feel you deep in my heart
There was nothing in the world
That I ever wanted more
Than to never feel the breaking apart
All my pictures of you

T.A.J.

Caballo de los Suenos – Pablo Neruda

 

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Innecesario, viéndome en los espejos
con un gusto a semanas, a biógrafos, a papeles,
arranco de mi corazón al capitán del infierno,
establezco cláusulas indefinidamente tristes.

Vago de un punto a otro, absorbo ilusiones,
converso con los sastres en sus nidos:
ellos, a menudo, con voz fatal y fría
cantan y hacen huir los maleficios.

Hay un país extenso en el cielo
con las supersticiosas alfombras del arco iris
y con vegetaciones vesperales:
hacia allí me dirijo, no sin cierta fatiga,
pisando una tierra removida de sepulcros un tanto frescos,
yo sueño entre esas plantas de legumbre confusa.

Paso entre documentos disfrutados, entre orígenes,
vestido como un ser original y abatido:
amo la miel gastada del respeto,
el dulce catecismo entre cuyas hojas
duermen violetas envejecidas, desvanecidas,
y las escobas, conmovedoras de auxilios,
en su apariencia hay, sin duda, pesadumbre y certeza.
Yo destruyo la rosa que silba y la ansiedad raptora:
yo rompo extremos queridos: y aún más,
aguardo el tiempo uniforme, sin medidas:
un sabor que tengo en el alma me deprime.

Qué día ha sobrevenido! Qué espesa luz de leche,
compacta, digital, me favorece!
He oído relinchar su rojo caballo
desnudo, sin herraduras y radiante.
Atravieso con él sobre las iglesias,
galopo los cuarteles desiertos de soldados
y un ejército impuro me persigue.
Sus ojos de eucaliptos roban sombra,
su cuerpo de campana galopa y golpea.

Yo necesito un relámpago de fulgor persistente,
un deudo festival que asuma mis herencias.

picture of the day 4

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Sunset @ Key West, Florida USA

The stillness of the air in those very few seconds in which the sun does its journey underneath the horizon, makes you want to hold your breath, open your eyes yet makes you want to close them to relax. Like an extra in a movie, shows up in the scene at the right moment, a fin that goes up and down forever…

The corners of my mouth rise involuntarily… my eyes close half way… my shoulders rest. I’m smiling.

And the sun says until tomorrow inevitably, no matter how much I would’ve liked to stay just like that, there… even until this day.

panic attack?

I surrendered to the lullaby of the most boring show i could find at that dull time of the day. I surrendered. I left my body vulnerable to its wishes and my mind’s: fall asleep gradually and unaware.

A long time might have gone by, maybe less, maybe just minutes, who knows? I was so exhausted I can’t tell, but I do know this happened at a moment when I was completely unconciously asleep.

I open my left eye, since the other one was pressed against the pillow, blinked a couple of times, the TV was still on. I glanced around rapidly and closed it. For some reason a restless feeling invaded my senses, I was afraid for no reason. I tried to stand up. Tried… but my legs didn’t respond to my brain signals, and I started to get a little bit desperate, more like… surprised. Panic would come later.

I kept trying to stand up, my body was heavier than my muscles could handle. I went back to rest, to gain some strength to wake back up. Nothing…

I decided to call someone, and shouted my roommates name out loud, the panic increased when I heard no noise coming out of my wide open mouth. I tried again, nothing. Tried to go back to sleep, but for some reason, I felt someone, or something, was haunting me, and that I couldn’t give up.

My body was lying there, still, but my heart was pumping harder than ever. All of a sudden, I felt like I was levitating, lifted by several hands belonging to one single force. I could see things literally from a different perspective, I wasn’t lying on the floor, I could tell, I was in the air. These hands were rolling back and forth through my back, for a few seconds it even felt nice, like one of those massage arm chairs. I couldn’t help but feel relaxed for a second, but suddenly went back to “reality” and realised the more I enjoyed that, the more I’d be surrendered to this ‘evil force’. Eventhough I was fooled for a short time there, I gained my will back and stood up. Turned off the TV and rushed to my room. Once in my bed I said to myself out loud: “Was that a panic attack?”

IKE

Doesn’t it look like the street’s sick of the water and’s trying to shake it off? Sure did a mess all around!

I wanna see the guarantee on that!

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  Picture of Ike over Cuba taken by NASA