me volvi muy maquiavelica a la hora de sentirme bien.

s.o.t.r.

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The Red Light -Part two-

He lifts his right foot from the gas, and lets inertia do her job, it’s too early to feel omnipotent, he needed to clock-in first. During the few feet that separated him from the intersection he cursed having forgotten to buy coffee the day before, and that damn chili morning… oh! He didn’t forget about that employee of his he has to see first thing every morning. Time to give his car a little help, he was obviously going faster than he thought and hits the break a few inches too far. The redness of the light that now prevailed over his wheel, his seats, his suit, made his face look tan when he got caught in his reflection on the rear mirror; he even thought to himself he was looking pretty handsome that particular morning. His mind traveled fast back to that nice guy he saw at the beach two days ago, and thought that there’s where he got his tan, but then he looked at himself right into his own red eyes and wondered why was he recalling that guy’s face and body and not his girlfriend’s curves… a cold feeling runs through his entire body making him shiver almost like trying to shake it off, but it would remain right there, caught in that thought, waiting to be released.

The despair of his own existential doubts made him mad at the never changing light. He looks around searching for mundane distractions. He notices two policemen standing at the 24 hour sandwich place at the corner, he’s mad at them for the light ‘they work for the community, for me, why are they allowing this’, he thinks and stares back and forth at the light and them, trying to get their attention on the matter with no luck. He looks beyond them, at the little restaurant… why was it open, he wonders, almost disturbed. Suddenly he realized they might sell coffee in there, so he absolved the poor innocent place. He stared at the people sitting there, they weren’t drinking coffee, what else could it possible be at this time of the day. Examining them in detail, he realized how different their mornings where: they were heading to bed after that, they’re finishing their day as oppose to him. He didn’t know how to feel about that, actually he felt so many things he couldn’t decide where he was really standing in the issue, like always anyways, he thought. He felt jealous, he felt angry, impotent, yet proud of not being there with them, and actually having a professional life “a life, period”, he said out loud, and freezed. He looked at himself in the mirror, surprised, he haven’t heard his voice yet that day, and this feelings pushed him to. Now he was analyzing himself, he probably was afraid to realize he said it out loud just to reassure it, was he that insecure of his life ?  His reflection started to look older, more wrinkly, scarier… he shooked his head. Glanced to the right turning his whole neck fast and heard a noise, did I break it? Tried to turn his head back, it hurt like a million hot knifes pricking his neck: “Just what I needed!”  And his day continued to be more and more weird. “Isn’t this light going to change?”

 

Lo-Fidelity Allstars

Brutal, beautiful
Strung out, hung out
Screaming sirens, scryscraper coffins
Shambolic, chaotic
Computer boffins

Strip-tease, traffic lights
Cut throat beer fights
Poison friends, fakers and takers
Stoic spectators
And you’re all cold, cold heart breakers

Drunks slumped, cans tilted
Lost your mind in the violent crime
Strobes and flashes, knife gashes
Bright lights, jilted lovers

Piss stains and splattered brains
Corruption production, fag packets
Prediction rackets
You’re all bribes and lies

Did you slip inside and get too low?
Did you slip inside and wanna know?

Smashed up limbs, stifled screams
A battle of lies, lightweight street fights
Monday mourning, pungent yawning
Inner-city casualty

Science and technology battle against me
I know there’s something terminal eating away at me
A vulture’s nest
Jesus, what a test

Did you slip inside and get too low?
Did you slip inside and wanna know?

I used to fall in love with everyone I’d meet
And then I realized it’s murder out
Murder on the streets
Yeah, I used to fall in love with everyone I’d meet
And then I realized it’s murder out on the streets

You know it’s murder out on the streets
So don’t fall in love with everyone you meet
‘Cause I know it’s murder out on the streets
You know it’s murder out
Murder on the streets

The Red Light – Part one –

It was very late at night, or very early in the morning, the loneliness of the streets hunted any aching soul, and tempted hidden opportunists. Either way, the air was weird, trapped in between yesterday and tomorrow. A moment of solitude, an indecisive lapse of time, where the lighter horizon could mean many things if you’re not right in your mind, if you’re not awake enough, or sober enough. In that precise moment, the stillness of the air suggests the earth has stopped spinning. You feel anything can happen; anything, you can become. In the back of your mind you are aware that this conditions will last no more than thirty minutes, but in your new surreal unconsciousness you feel like if they were the last thirty minutes of your life. Now this could represent two things: depression or uncontainable motivation. After going through all this in your mind, you’re left with twenty-nine minutes and fifty-five seconds… a lifetime of possibilities: be aware.

IARA IARA

Sera todo el mundo así? Seré yo también? Sera una condición del ser humano cuando en cercanía? Pero si… nadie es así… o no me cuentan… callan por vergüenza y somos finalmente un mar minado de islas que no se conectan, cuando tienen todo en común.

Que tienen en común, que tienen de diferente… que es esta mezcla? Definitivamente tengo que regresar a la fuente y buscar en el índice antes de seguir por la ruta sin mapa. Yo se de sentimientos nada mas, de intuiciones en realidad… porque a los sentimientos se los califica y describe y yo no puedo hacer ninguna de las dos cosas. Y mi intuición es muy clara, la tape ciegamente durante años por tristeza quizás, una tristeza que se la aprecio porque fue el único salvavidas que jamás le tiraron, y se colgó y se olvido de nadar y se colgó… y desde allí, cuando yo tiraba la cuerda, la cuerda me jalaba a mi, y yo tiraba y me jalo una vez tan fuerte que me hizo caer y ahí vi de cerca el salvavidas, su tripulante y el mar…

Una lejanía prometedora que me hundió. Ya no pude jalar mas, ahora todos en el agua luchamos por nuestra vida… yo acabo de caer y tengo todas mis fuerzas, pero las voy a usar para mi sola. Disculpen, yo ayude, pero me quisieron ahogar. Mi vida es ahora la que me importa.